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Almost there but still some minor work?

I agree with other contributors that this has taken our ideas on board. Going down to three bullet points on the cover and including illustrations and a table make the leaflet a bit more accessible.

I think it would look better if you could get the table on one page, especially as in the text you say “the table below lists some key recommendations …” and then there only seems to be one point there. Could you condense the section on fluoride toothpaste, on the next page, into a smaller space to give yourselves more room. 


I would also personally put the illustration of tooth brushing and toothpaste description under bullet point one or asterisk it as a key, but that it probably the librarian in me. What do other people think?

Have the advice and language improved in the new version of the leaflet? Can we improve further?

As Gavin Paterson has pointed out “ the leaflet now has some really helpful advice on brushing and flossing which is concise and to the point”. It was also good to see the advice about when to use mouthwash, as noted by Michelle Cracknell.

I wonder if having more than one leaflet might be helpful. One could be aimed at people who do not yet have any signs of gum disease. That way there would be more room to have greater detail on general dental and mouth care, such as how to use floss and interdental brushes as I certainly would benefit from advice on the former and Alison Duckworth can’t be the only one struggling with interdental brushes. This could incorporate more advice on the implications of eating or drinking certain types of food and drink. That way more of the points made by the contributors could be covered without impacting the concise and clear nature of this leaflet.

I am not an editor/proof reader but a couple of things in the new leaflet might be worth looking at  again.

* Under What is Periodontal/Gum Disease I think it should say.. eventually it hardens into calculus and can result in irritated and inflamed gums

* Under Stop Smoking should it be improve your gum health or health of your gums rather than gums health? It also says for further information visit NHS website and I think this should be the NHS Website with a the.

* Under Balanced Diet  the mixed use of foods and food and drinks doesn’t look quite right.



Do you find the images added helpful? Can we improve them?

I think the images were a valuable addition and as Beverley Tarran has pointed out they are more realistic photos. It is good to see some non perfect teeth but I do find the red lipstick slightly alarming in the cover photo - though reassuring it isn’t perfectly applied. I personally liked the image of dental tools being used in the original picture as I thought this gave you a good visual clue to what was in the leaflet.

Would you suggest other formats to present self-care information to patients? (i.e. a video, infographic)

A video or infographic of techniques for brushing, flossing and using interdental brushes might be helpful.

edited on Mar 26, 2022 by Heather Smith
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Alison Duckworth Mar 26, 2022

I like the idea of having 2 leaflets

Reply 2

Beatriz Goulao Mar 28, 2022

This is really helpful Heather, thank you! We will go through all your suggestions, and make changes accordingly. Two leaflets might the way forward! We will consider this option, and keep you posted.

Beatriz

Reply 1